How to Hide Your ‘Play Toys’

I’ll never forget the time that I was eight and hanging out at my friend’s house. We stumbled into her mom’s closet, rummaged through some shelves and then found her big, purple vibrator. She looked at it, I looked it, both bewildered by its shape and buttons. We turned it on and were amazed, but had no idea what it was. We immediately put it back and never mentioned it again. Makes you wonder though, right? Have your kids found your toys?

Adult toys used to be a taboo subject. Nowadays 1 in every 2 women has or at least had a sex toy. That’s 50 percent! But just because you and most of your friends have sex toys, doesn’t mean you want them handing out for all to see or for your kids and their friends to find (much like me and my eight year old self).

If this is a concern for you, I’ve got some tips and some toys for you that can help you put all worries aside.

First, when it comes to storing your toys you want to make sure they are in a convenient location for you and your partner to use, but you also want to make sure they are out of reach and hidden away. The easiest way to hide them is in a locked drawer. If any of your bedroom furniture has a lock, use that. But the likelihood of you having a locked drawer is slim, so here are some other alternatives.

You could get a pretty chest that you can slide underneath your bed. Put them in decorative boxes on the top shelf of your bookshelf in your bedroom or store them behind your winter clothes in your closet. Just be sure they are out of reach. Whatever you do, you want to avoid putting them into a box that will catch your kid’s eyes. Obvious locks might also convince them to get all Inspector Gadget on it. The key is to make the box seem boring, ordinary and out of reach. Need a few more ideas. The Stir has a few different ones.

I would avoid keeping them in your night stand or dresser drawers. These are typically low enough for kids to rummage through and you never know when you’re going to forget they are in there and ask your son to get you a pair of socks. You also face the chance of a damaged drawer if your favorite lube gets put away with a loose cap.

Now, if you’re out of good hiding spots or have kids that will rummage in everything, you might want to get discreet toys. You can find a whole variety of these at Adam and Eve. These are sex toys that are designed to look like something else. You can find vibrators that look like lipstick, nail polish, a rubber duck, a make up compact and even like nothing at all–just a weird circle or rod. Be sure to remove the batteries when you’re storing them. This will 1. save the battery life and 2. ensure that if your kids do find them that they won’t go off.

If your kids do find them, take the time to explain personal space and make sure to leave out the word toy. Or you can take it as a time to explain the birds and the bees! Whatever works for you and your kids.

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