Work It

Post image for Perseverance

Perseverance

by Chavah Kinloch on January 25, 2012

This pretty much sums up my life right now.

Time and effort is all it will take. I WILL do it.

I wasn’t going to say anything on here but after thinking about it for a week I figure..why not just say it? Why is it so hard?This is why I have a blog after all. I’ve only told two people in real life, my husband and a friend the day it happened. Even saying it to my friend was hard.

I have officially lost 40kg’s (88lbs). In fact I’m closer to 41kgs lost than 40 now, so watch this space. The journey is far from over.

It’s hard to believe really. I’ve pretty much lost a Kourtney Kardashian or a Mila Kunis (apparently they weigh 43kg’s):

The thing is, even though to say it out loud sounds kind of impressive, in real life I’ve been struggling to see the difference. Like really struggling. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments I’ll walk past something and see my reflection and catch myself off guard and think “What in the hell? Is that me? Where’s the rest of me? What happened to the massive roll there that was there?” It’s just hard to get my brain caught up with reality.  I’m my own biggest critic.

After talking with my husband about it last night he said something that made a lot of sense to me. I don’t care about the number because it’s not what motivates me. I’ve spent the last year working my butt off and not focusing on a relationship with my scales so I’ve learned to love other results instead.  I need to physically see change happening and when I look front on, it’s hard for me to see that. From that conversation came these photos:

Please don’t judge me by my excess fat, loose skin and full belly. Despite all those things (which I’m working on) I’m proud because look closely…

Those shadowy dents you see there? That is muscle. It bulges and it’s solid. You can’t see it too well in the photos but through touch the most obvious muscle is my triceps. It feels like a  thick line running through my arm when I run my hand over it. I have never had this before but I love it.

This photo below is my favourite photo to date of a woman with trapezius muscles. In fact I have this labelled in my folder as ‘Traps for days’. Jessica Biel in general has amazing definition.

I know, I know, I’m probably going to have a lot of people with words like butch, manly, too much, eww, gross etc but this is the direction I’m choosing to go and I’ve never felt more feminine.

These photos my husband took for me to look at make me a hundred times happier than any number the scale doesn’t say anymore. These photos show how much effort I put in on any given day to make a positive change in my life. Thank you Andrew for helping me wrap my head around how I want to measure my progress.

I’m building a good foundation and I’ve got some very clear set goals – and so far since making them, I have been kicking their butt. I’m on track!

I don’t know what my body will look like by the time I’m done, I have a vision that I hope to make a reality but I’ve never been the athletic type so this will be completely new to me. I don’t know what to expect. What I do know is that the end result will represent the hard work, dedication and perseverance I am putting in to achieve it. Stretch marks, saggy skin and all, I love and appreciate my body.

{ 0 comments }

Keeping it Fresh – Will Smith is My First Love

by Chavah Kinloch on January 17, 2012

I cannot wait to get out of the house this evening to plug in my earphones and work it out. My gosh I need it today! It makes me feel like this:

Shout out to the tumblr who originally put all of these dance moves into one post. By far one of the best things on the internet.

{ 0 comments }

Oh Yah Know… Just Me and My New Belt

by Chavah Kinloch on November 28, 2011

I got it today guys!! And I couldn’t be happier :D I think the last time I got given a certificate for anything I was in primary school. He called me up, gave me a proud smile and “Osu!” and said “It’s about time you got your belt.”. As much as I think my sensei is evil because he takes great pleasure in watching us go through pain, he’s really an awesome guy and knows how to make you feel good about yourself, so it kind of balances out.

Apparently I have great technique, which is good to know because I’d need to be pretty damn precise with my hits and kicks if I were to last in any sort of a fight coz I’m still so freakin unfit. I better pray I can get someone down on that mat quick fast lol. But hey, moral of the story is I did it!

If you read the last post, you’ll remember I mentioned that I had to go to the advanced class to get my grubby little hands on this bad boy. So to answer your question, yes I did go. How did it go? Well, I survived… and my lungs have only just stopped burning. I have no idea how I’m meant to mentally psych myself into attending 90 minutes of torture, I mean training sessions twice a week. I heard one of the girls from my beginners class saying that she thought she might die too,  before class started, and I burst out with “Oh thank God, you too!”  because I have to say, I thought that might just be a fat girl thing lol.

I’m at the dojo 3 other days a week taking my son to his karate training and I’m around the corner at the gym 6 days a week… well it’ll only be 4 now that kickboxing is taking over. If this weight doesn’t fall off as the next year goes by I have gone terribly wrong somewhere. Sensei told me and the other newbies to give it a year or two before classes didn’t feel like torture...and then he laughed at us. Cheers buddy. I about died right there on the spot. I honestly felt like crawling up in a ball and rocking back and forth. Give me strength!

Oh and just for comparison because it’s been a while:

{ 5 comments }

Overcoming Fear

by Chavah Kinloch on November 21, 2011

One of the greatest lessons I’m learning this year has to do with the issue of fear. I don’t recall myself being the overly fearful type, as a child I was quiet, some would say shy… for a little while anyway until I was comfortable; a trait that has followed me through to adulthood but I was never really afraid to do things that sounded fun. Heck, I was the first kid at camp to flip myself upside down, let go of the rope and go abseiling down the side of a wall. I’ve always really enjoyed doing things a little out of my comfort zone!

Skip forward to a year ago and one of the things I’d noticed about myself was that because I was still suffering repercussions from the injury I sustained during Boston’s birth, that for the better part of a year I’d been barely able to leave the house. I confessed to my husband that even the thought of going out to get the groceries was getting scary and that I didn’t like where that was leading me mentally. The first step for me was to focus on my 21 days…which I am SO glad I did because that one little decision to get through those 21 days changed my life entirely. As with anything though, the more you do something, the easier it gets and my beloved gym just wasn’t cutting it anymore.

What I haven’t told many people (a few here and there will have picked up on it) is that I signed up to do the beginners kickboxing course with Toa Fighting Systems. You have to do the course to be inducted into their advanced classes that run the rest of the time. Today, I passed grading! Which basically means I get a certificate to say I can do some moves, earn a red belt and become a member of Toa Fighting Systems and WAKO (NZ).

Now this probably means absolutely nothing to 99% of you out there reading this but this means so much to me. Kickboxing is something I’ve been fascinated with for as long as I can remember. It probably comes from my lifelong obsession with kung fu movies and martial arts. Also, while other kids were playing with their barbies and eating fairy bread, my grandfather was lecturing me on how to throw a punch which then led to buying a boxing bag for my brother and I to ‘play’ on which then led to bruised knuckles and popped blood vessels. So yes, learning how to fight properly has been something I have wanted to do for as long as I can remember.

The class was huge at the beginning of the course but today there was just those of us who had realised that showing up for these classes meant you were throwing out all excuses to give up and were prepared for the brutal – and I don’t mean brutal in the ‘oh this is hard’ sense, I mean it in the OH MY F**KING G*D WTF I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS/ARMS/SHOULDERS/LUNGS, AM I DYING?! – sense (my body is still shaking 4 hours later).

Taking this course, for me, meant freedom. Freedom from my self imposed ‘worthless me’ beliefs. Freedom from ‘what if’. Freedom from feeling trapped in my mind, in my body and in my home.

I did it.

I believed I could and I did.

I cried almost every week for three months – and you all know I’m not a crier.

But I did it.

I overcame my fear of not being good enough.

Now I have to attend next weeks advanced class to receive my belt… I see what he’s doing there. Nice way to push me to get over my new fear sensei.

Advanced class here I come.

Not bad for a girl who wasn’t even allowed to walk her kids to school a year ago because it was too much, huh?

And because every post needs a photo and I don’t have my hands on my first belt yet, here’s one I took from the Toa website. Blue trunks is my sensei. Osu!

{ 10 comments }

Post image for Doin’ It, Doin’ It and Doin It Well

Doin’ It, Doin’ It and Doin It Well

by Chavah Kinloch on August 4, 2011

I know I’ve been a bit quiet on this healthy me tip – well, on my blog at least. Some may have taken that to mean that I’ve fallen off the wagon. The truth is I’m still going strong and I am literally stronger than ever. To make this quick, here are some mentionables:

Two nights ago I was chatting with the woman who came over from Australia to take over launching my gym here in Invercargill. While we were chatting not only did she ask me to tell her about a couple of the exercises I was doing and which muscle groups they target, she also said that she had to ask how much weight I had lost because in the couple of weeks (3 or 4?) since I’d joined this new gym I’d changed a lot. She went on to say that in the three months she’s been here she hadn’t seen anyone else change so much.

So drum roll please…would you know how much weight I lost?

None. Zilch, zip, zero. Ok, well maybe not zilch but not even a kilo so I didn’t really have much to say about anything. I don’t care though, pretty sure what’s happening is I’m replacing fat with muscle which is more than welcome and I’m quite proud because look at what has happened:

I wore this outfit. Size 14! Sure still fat for a lot of people but for me that’s a 7 size drop. Big ups to my daughter for pointing out the labels read a size smaller than I thought they were. Bonus! To be clear I am not size 14, I just happened to be able to fit some clothes from 10 years ago that are. Gives me hope.

I grew a lot of muscle. A lot. My legs and right behind my shoulders also look like this but I figure this is more than enough of my freakishly stretched body for you to look at. This was taken while I was getting dressed one morning and I was like WTF is that? Is that my arm? Whoa! Fat chick with muscles, awesome. What I really like is that in that first photo up there ^^^ you can actually see the shape of them through the sleeves of my top. Nice going there thanks workouts, you’re doing me proud.

Now for a second I wasn’t too sure what to think about my husband. He said to me the other day that he was a little bit worried because apparently my butt turned flat a couple of weeks back (umm gee thanks hun lol) but that within a week he saw it return and this time it was even better. (All is forgiven right?) My miracle worker?

This:

All that weight adds up to 130kg and that is what I am now pressing. It’s likely I can do more but seeing as I have no spotter I’m playing it safe; for now.  Oh and also squats, lunges, more squats, kicks, more lunges, skipping, dead leg lifts, good mornings, walking, some more squats, running, did I mention lunges? And dancing, they help too..*arrrgh*

I do wish my body was smaller already, I work out 6 days a week and have boundless energy…unless I’m sleeping to recover which is quite often… you can see why I’m tired right?

I did in fact get asked if I lived at the gym by a trainer the other day too. I just answered “Pretty much.” I also had another trainer say “You’re here a lot!” to which I could only reply “I need to be” because trust me.. if you’ve ever been as fat as me, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Last night I ended up doing a quick little workout with the woman I mentioned at the start of this post and we did this cool routine that works all the different ab muscles and when you’re through it you’ve just done 120 sit ups/crunches in 2 minutes..with a 7kg weight. Just sayin! I kept up and aside from 1 exercise it was all relatively easy. I now feel like a fit person trapped in a fat body but I’ll get there. Every day’s a new challenge.

So that’s where I’m at. All up I’ve now dropped 32kg. Plenty more to go, ugh.

{ 12 comments }

The Next 21 Days – Days 19-21

Loving my hubby’s old GI Joe top. Oh hell, stuff it. I’ve been a total FAIL at keeping up with my 21 days posts and I’ve only got three days left to write about. It’s not because I’ve been slacking, I promise I haven’t, I just have a very busy schedule at present… although yesterday [...]

The Next 21 Days – Day 18

Andrea’s Story Let me introduce you to Andrea Spinks, talented artist and fellow health and wellness crusader. Andrea’s story is very different to mine, yet there are also quite a few similarities. I think it’s a great way to show that every body is different and what effects one won’t necessarily bother another. Her’s is a great [...]

← Previous Entries