Two more off the list!

30. Change the music on my ipod.

Who would have thought changing the music on my ipod would be SUCH a mission. It’s pretty straight forward stuff right? Yes, it is. So how come it took me about 12 hours. I know!!!… but explaining the whole ordeal would just be too much of a mission. It involves error messages,  slow uploads and dying computers. Let’s just say I started my evening off last night being my happy little self and by the end of it I was not a happy chappy. I ended up just going to bed and in the morning when I woke up, everything I had set up had magically found it’s way onto my ipod. I think I might need to say thank you to my hubby.

8. Write a poem.

I wrote a poem today. Well, I didn’t actually write it so much as typed random words without stopping to think. It took me all of about 30 seconds and when I stopped to look, I’d written two verses. It’s a pretty dark poem. I’m not quite ready to share it in it’s entirety just yet so I’ve put it in an image. I figured I’d turn it into a little piece of art. It features the whole poem but it’s a little hard to read..on purpose. Some things are better left to the imagination. If you by chance manage to read the entire thing though, congratulations. It really encompasses the state I was in at the time of writing it. There’s been something bugging me the past couple of weeks, I don’t think I hid it too well but I think… I HOPE that it’s finally finished with today. If anything, at least it’s given me a chance to create through poetry. I’ll take it.

Don’t worry, I feel much better after getting it all out now Nothing bad has happened tomorrow. Get up and try again.

But in honour of the upcoming Mothers Day… I read this once a few years back and stumbled across it again today.

before I was a Mom.

I am… I think… I know… I want… I have… I wish… I hate… I miss… I fear… I hear… I smell… I search… I wonder… I regret… I love… I care… I always… I am not… I believe… I dance… I sing… I don’t… I write… I win… I lose…I dislike… I never… I listen… I can usually be found… I am scared… I read… I am happy about… I dare… I hope… I notice… I clean… I express… I talk… I go… I drive… I watch… I dream… I need… I haven’t… I tell… I pick… I find… I run… I quit… I jump… I learn… I play… I own… I make… I live… I bring…I open… I will…I suppose… I vote… I buy… I fold… I stand… I can… I wear… I smile… I cry… I pray… I make… I like… I move… I swear… I try… I draw… I expect… I work… I admire… I adore… I fantasize… I look… I cherish… I appreciate… I treasure… I could…

I am… not afraid to laugh out loud

I think… all the time! It’s part of my insomnia problem. As soon as lie down my mind is flooded with ideas and I just can’t shut it off.

I know… my Heavenly Father loves me.

I want… to live a long happy life.

I have… everything I need but I still aim for more.

I wish… I could lose all the weight I’ve gained over 8 years!

I hate… liars, fakes, cheats and timewasters.

I miss… having a close friend near by.

I fear… not using my abilities to their full potential.

I hear… my son giggling as her slurps juice from his bowl of fruit salad.

I smell… my cokaleekie leftovers that I just heated up.

I search… the world around me for inspiration and answers.

I wonder… what my children will look like as adults. I imagine they’ll still be the most beautiful beings I’ll have ever seen.

I regret… not knowing more about nutrition while growing up, especially while pregnant with my first 3 children. It would have been nice to not have gained 60kgs in 9 months.

I love… to learn. The ability to read should never be taken for granted.

I care… about a lot of things. Mostly that the people I love are happy.

I always… check my email!

I am not… naturally mean. It takes a lot for me to be rude.

I believe… in life before and after death.

I dance… after a shower while getting dressed.

I sing… all the time. It’s like therapy for me.

I don’t… drink or smoke.

I write… on my blog to keep people up to date with life.

I win… one of the best bargain hunters award and finder of unique objects award.

I lose… the early riser award.

I dislike… rock, techno and country music. Especially if it’s playing really loud. It feels like the world is ending lol.

I never… seem to have every single room in my house clean at the same time.

I listen… to good advice from those that have been there, done that.

I can usually be found… at home on my couch right now!

I am scared… to lose my husband before we’re in our 80′s. That would be my biggest nightmare. Not seeing or talking to him everyday would crush me.

I read… non-fiction books about religion, real estate, finances, NZ law and belief in ones self.

I am happy about… finishing off my family. After we had baby #3 it felt like someone was missing. Now we’re done

I dare… to say I love you to the people I love.

I hope… to achieve all my goals before I die.

I notice… the people and objects around me.

I clean… like an obsessive freak when I do clean. If my place is a big mess I’m usually having a hard time.

I express… myself through my art, my clothes, poetry and my face.

I talk… very straight. I don’t like to beat around the bush.

I go… to my room for peace and quiet.

I drive… a minivan haha.

I watch…trashy reality tv. I love it.

I dream… of being financially free and self sufficient.

I need… more sleep!

I haven’t… travelled the world yet.

I tell… my children never to give up.

I pick… friends by their honesty. I don’t care how they look or how old they are.

I find… documentaries fascinating.

I run… slowly…lol

I quit… trying to please people once I discovered my own strength.

I jump… over puddles while my children jump in them. I really should try jumping in them once again.

I learn… everyday how to parent and how not to parent. I wish I didn’t make so many mistakes but as it says, I learn.

I play… playdough with my kids.

I own… my choices.

I make… decisions. I can’t stand when people can’t do the same.

I live… in beautiful New Zealand.

I bring… happiness and creativity.

I open… up to the people closest to me.

I will… always try to do what’s right.

I suppose… I should get myself a drink instead of sitting here thinking about one.

I vote… according to my own conscience.

I buy… a tonne of milk and bread!!!

I fold… my towels a particular way then stack them all in the same direction.

I stand… for short periods of time right now. I carry my babies right out the front and it causes a lot of back pain.

I can… achieve anything I desire. I really believe that.

I wear… whatever fits over my belly. I like to wear greens, browns and navy blue though.

I smile… and it makes others smile. I used to get put at reception at one of my past jobs because of my smile. They said it brought new customers in. Who am I to disagree

I cry… at the thought of losing one of my loved ones.

I pray… for strength.

I make… beautiful children, with the help of my husband.

I like… road trips with my family!

I move… my furniture and paintings around to feel as though I’ve got something new.

I swear… more than I should but its still not that much!

I try… not to be as impatient as I really am.

I draw… whatever is on my mind.

I expect… my dreams to come true.

I work… to make my future generations lives easier.

I admire… people who have loved, lost and carried on and people who have lost large amounts of weight the natural way and changed their lives because of it.

I adore… childrens laughter. Is there anything sweeter?

I fantasize… about having long legs lol.

I look… foward to getting back into a great routine at the gym.

I cherish… my memories.

I appreciate… those that take the time to think of me.

I treasure… real friendship and love.

I could… do so much more than I’m doing at present. All in good time!

I thought I’d post up some photos of a little set I created. They’re being exhibited right now, you can see them in the gallery pics below.

Tomorrow I have to send off my painting to Angela. I have just finished it and wrapped it all up. Just waiting to be transported now. It’s called Love Story and features a poem I wrote. It will be on exhibition at the Bruce Mason Centre in Auckland as part of the NZAG Make It Memorable Exhibition.

Title: Love Story
For Sale: $750.00
Size: 61cm x 91cm
Medium: Mixed media on canvas
Enquiries: chavahkinloch@xtra.co.nz