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Perseverance

by Chavah Kinloch on January 25, 2012

This pretty much sums up my life right now.

Time and effort is all it will take. I WILL do it.

I wasn’t going to say anything on here but after thinking about it for a week I figure..why not just say it? Why is it so hard?This is why I have a blog after all. I’ve only told two people in real life, my husband and a friend the day it happened. Even saying it to my friend was hard.

I have officially lost 40kg’s (88lbs). In fact I’m closer to 41kgs lost than 40 now, so watch this space. The journey is far from over.

It’s hard to believe really. I’ve pretty much lost a Kourtney Kardashian or a Mila Kunis (apparently they weigh 43kg’s):

The thing is, even though to say it out loud sounds kind of impressive, in real life I’ve been struggling to see the difference. Like really struggling. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments I’ll walk past something and see my reflection and catch myself off guard and think “What in the hell? Is that me? Where’s the rest of me? What happened to the massive roll there that was there?” It’s just hard to get my brain caught up with reality.  I’m my own biggest critic.

After talking with my husband about it last night he said something that made a lot of sense to me. I don’t care about the number because it’s not what motivates me. I’ve spent the last year working my butt off and not focusing on a relationship with my scales so I’ve learned to love other results instead.  I need to physically see change happening and when I look front on, it’s hard for me to see that. From that conversation came these photos:

Please don’t judge me by my excess fat, loose skin and full belly. Despite all those things (which I’m working on) I’m proud because look closely…

Those shadowy dents you see there? That is muscle. It bulges and it’s solid. You can’t see it too well in the photos but through touch the most obvious muscle is my triceps. It feels like a  thick line running through my arm when I run my hand over it. I have never had this before but I love it.

This photo below is my favourite photo to date of a woman with trapezius muscles. In fact I have this labelled in my folder as ‘Traps for days’. Jessica Biel in general has amazing definition.

I know, I know, I’m probably going to have a lot of people with words like butch, manly, too much, eww, gross etc but this is the direction I’m choosing to go and I’ve never felt more feminine.

These photos my husband took for me to look at make me a hundred times happier than any number the scale doesn’t say anymore. These photos show how much effort I put in on any given day to make a positive change in my life. Thank you Andrew for helping me wrap my head around how I want to measure my progress.

I’m building a good foundation and I’ve got some very clear set goals – and so far since making them, I have been kicking their butt. I’m on track!

I don’t know what my body will look like by the time I’m done, I have a vision that I hope to make a reality but I’ve never been the athletic type so this will be completely new to me. I don’t know what to expect. What I do know is that the end result will represent the hard work, dedication and perseverance I am putting in to achieve it. Stretch marks, saggy skin and all, I love and appreciate my body.

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The Next 21 Days – Days 19-21

by Chavah Kinloch on April 6, 2011

Loving my hubby’s old GI Joe top.

Oh hell, stuff it. I’ve been a total FAIL at keeping up with my 21 days posts and I’ve only got three days left to write about. It’s not because I’ve been slacking, I promise I haven’t, I just have a very busy schedule at present… although yesterday and today I’ve spent more time online than I have the entire month.

So I’m just going to finish off these final three days in one pop. One post, one ending. I’d like to consider it a happy one.

Over the past *ahem* 21 days (give or take 1o) I lost three and a half inches from my waist (9.5cm) but only 2 cm from my hips. There are an extra 3 cm gone from my arms, 4cms from my calves & 6cm from my thighs. I have no idea if I lost any weight because I still haven’t replaced the battery in my scales.  Either way, it doesn’t really matter to me. It’s been a welcomed relief to stay away from the scales.

I officially dropped that extra size I’d been trying to move and that now totals 5 dress sizes gone. I still have three more to go. I have just one more size to drop before I can fit pretty much everything in my wardrobe. There are a few smaller sizes here and there but overall most things will fit. I need to drop that size because then I won’t have to buy anything for winter hehe. I am majorly lacking in bottoms. Who know’s, maybe if I drop that extra size my Nana will stop calling me fat every time I see her. In the past, oh say 15 years, I have only heard her say “Missy, you skinny!” once when I went on holiday to attend one of my BFF’s wedding . In all my othert visits it’s been “Chabbah, you too fat.” Gotta love her honesty.

My arms feel solid and fabulous but they look saggy and wrinkled. I’m happy to accept that this is my fate. There’s not much I can do about that without some type of surgery which I’m not about to have. My body has been through a lot in it’s short years and I know inside that they’ve come a long way. I’ll just keep going till they look as good as they feel. Some day! Just as long as I keep working at it.

What has happened though, over this part of the journey, is body acceptance. I’m actually beginning to love my body, even with all it’s faults. I’ve done amazing things with it, birthed giant babies, recovered from an inability to even sit/stand/walk without crying from that damage that occurred, gained so much muscle I’ve seen my entire body morph.

More than body acceptance I’ve managed to accept the way I choose to live. I’ve had a chance to think about everything that has happened since I gained the weight and realised that throughout all of that I’ve helped my family a lot. I’ve done a lot for myself while juggling their needs. Battled extremely bad lows while holding everything together. It’s meant that sometimes I’ve turned into a recluse when I’m working but I actually really enjoy that part of it. I have come to accept that I’m not the Mum that makes it to every school activity, honestly just because I don’t want to and I’m ok with that. I get more than enough quality time with my kids. I’ve come to understand that just because I do it all from home, doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything so it’s ridiculous to live up to expectations that I’ll make it to every event during the day when you would never expect it from someone that works in an office; and I think I’m going to start saying that. I work damn hard and am tired of feeling belittled because I don’t fit into peoples little boxes.

I simplified everything to lose weight but it did a lot more than that for me. With the help of my extremely dedicated husband we’ve got a system that works well for us. I found my drive for success that had slipped away to allow me to exist in mediocrity and because of that drive in a few short weeks we have come so far both physically and financially. Sacrifices have paid off (that was my FB status the pother day).

I haven’t reached the end of my journey, that’s still a long way off but for now I am satisfied. I’ll update you again sometime soon, not sure when but it’ll come. For now I just want to say thanks for being there and letting me rant, share my small victories and being compassionate and understanding. For some reason people like you are disappearing from our world.

Until next time, keep going and remember:


Yes you are!

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The Next 21 Days – Day 18

by Chavah Kinloch on March 30, 2011

Andrea’s Story

Let me introduce you to Andrea Spinks, talented artist and fellow health and wellness crusader. Andrea’s story is very different to mine, yet there are also quite a few similarities. I think it’s a great way to show that every body is different and what effects one won’t necessarily bother another. Her’s is a great example in why it’s so good to learn about your own body and just what it needs. Read on to hear what has helped Andrea succeed and find her way to a happier, healthier lifestyle.

My journey to me.

I arrived in Auckland from Christchurch, lost and alone, with big hopes for a new direction in my life. The first night, my flatmates welcomed me with a party, where I met my new best friend. The blonde beauty and I clicked instantly, as she devoured the salsa I had made, excited that it fit into her SureSlim eating plan. Inspired, I decided to add good health to my list of goals. Though I didn’t take SureSlim on board, 3 years since that day I find myself 17kg lighter, allergies diagnosed, immunity increased tenfold, and energy through the roof.

As a vegetarian, it was easy to walk away from unhealthy takeaways and follow a fairly healthy diet, but on a fateful day in October ’08 I met my inspirational boyfriend who introduced me to veganism. Now, I’m not here to preach about my morals, however taking dairy out of my diet was like walking out from a dark shadow. As it turns out, I was allergic, along with gluten – and as you may know, an inability to digest these properly leads to lethargy and weight gain.

Diagnosing my allergies gave me energy to embrace my new life, though my efforts hit a brick wall, when I fractured my foot. A year taken out from exercise brought a stop to my journey and the onset of depression after 6 months in a cast. With many misdiagnosis and surgeons that couldn’t string a sentence together – I found the ‘foot doc’ for The Warriors, who finally helped me recover, victory!

My body had found a comfort zone, and the last 6kg just would not move. I felt defeated, until I picked up the controversial book “The 4 hour body”. In a nutshell it’s a fairly basic healthy eating plan that would scare many an omnivore. However the concept wasn’t a world away from my current vegan diet: I added a higher protein breakfast, cancelled most Carbs, switched to red wine, and one glorious day a week is cheat day. After a further 3kg loss, I write with a mere 3kg until my ultimate lifelong goal, that goal never imagined possible. The plan has become habit, and a lifestyle change.

As the end of my journey nears, I sum up my current state as hopeful. The kind of excitable hope a child has at the beginning of primary school, or a teenager who has just received their licence. I’m opened to a new world with fewer inhibitions, enough energy to tackle what life throws my way, and unafraid of whom I am.

I am Andrea, 5’4, 55kgs, new business owner, artist, best friend, soul mate, and success story.

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The Next 21 Days – Days 10-17

by Chavah Kinloch on March 28, 2011

Hello I’m back. Yes I did just take a break right in the middle of this series but I feel so much better for it. So here’s what I’m going to do, one topic for each missed day right here, right now. Let’s do this!

Day 10: Recouperate

If you’re feeling exhausted from your load take a step back. High stress levels and lack of sleep can undo all the work you’ve done. Sometimes rest is exactly what the body needs. As hard as it is to stop, do it because your health depends on it.

Day 11: Focus

When you’re sick like I was last week you find yourself weak and lethargic. When you can’t do your workouts stay focused on your dietary intake. What you put in can help you recover faster and help you stay on top of your goal.

Day 12: Breakfast

We all know the saying ‘Breakfast is the most important meal of the day’ but did you know that you can fatten up your breakfasts? It’s the perfect time to eat a little more. Don’t pile up the bacon but add healthy fats like nuts cheese egg or avocado. Apparently starting off your day eating such things encourages your body to burn more of a variety of fats during the day rather than just carb starting your day which can lead to weight gain.

Day 13: Sodium

Monitor your sodium intake. I come from a culture that loads up on this ingredient, we even have a special dish called salt meat. 1 teaspoon of salt daily is the ideal, thats less than 2,300mg. Try to use reduced-sodium and salt-free canned or frozen products.

Day 14: Music Makes the World Go Round

Sick of your playlist? Switch up your music again. Why not ask your partner or someone who has similar taste in music to you to load your ipod with a new mix. I recently did this then added a few songs of my own and now I can’t get enough of my playlist. I still haven’t heard everything!

Day 15: You’ve Lost Weight, Re-Analyse

What was working for you at the beginning of your journey should no longer work for you now. So much time has passed that it’s time to see what suits now. The smaller you get the more difficult it will be to cut out calories, so don’t be silly and carry on cutting like you could when you first began. Progress will slow down because there is less you can cut out, this is normal. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible, it will just take a little longer.

Day 16: Dining Out

If you find yourself out at a restaurant when it’s not a cheat day look for words like baked, boiled, broiled, grilled, light, poached, fresh and steamed on the menu. I’ve heard of people only eating half the plate at a restaurant and taking the other half home for the next day. If you’re so inclined to do that, go for it but it’s not something I do personally.

Day 17: My gym is closing!

In THREE days. I’m gutted. They’re merging with the big gym in town which is fine for them but I liked the location and layout of the one I’m at now. I went to the ‘new’ gym years ago. I know a lot of people that go to it. I guess I’ll have to be friendly now instead of shutting myself off to just get down to business! That’s part of the reason I didn’t join up there. Oh well. Change can be good.

P.S. I’m fitting so many clothes in my wardrobe again now! *Happy dance*

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The Next 21 Days – Day 9

by Chavah Kinloch on March 18, 2011

I went to weigh in this morning but when I stepped on to see the results the scales wouldn’t work. All I could think was “Really? That bad?” haha. Looks like I need to buy a new battery.

So I figure instead I’ll share my latest vision board. I’m probably a big fan of these because I’m an extremely visual person. This vision board focuses solely on getting in shape. If you look closely you’ll see that I changed the name Ali (old winner of the biggest loser) to Chavah. I love the Dove women and their body confidence, I’ve got a torturous workout photo which is probably my favourite motivator because it reminds me that a little pain now won’t kill me but will bring great results, it’s got quotes like “I’m making myself strong” and “I’m making myself proud” and of course there are images of what I’d like to gain in the long run.

I created mine digitally so if you’re wanting to make one for yourself but don’t have magazines on hand, this is a really simple way to do it.

Happy Friday everyone. Have a wonderful weekend.

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The Next 21 Days – Day 8

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day everyone! What I Learn from my Children I’m one proud mama at the moment. Yesterday I wrote about how inspiring you all are, today I’m writing about my children and the way they motivate me. My daughter had a school athletics day yesterday, a day late because of the weather. I [...]

The Next 21 Days – Day 6

This is my thinking face. Awkward huh. :/ I had to use it for this question. “What is the most rewarding part of your workouts?” This was a question asked of me by my friend and loyal reader, Lisa. I think it’s a great question. I’ve pondered over it a few times but I don’t [...]

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